Insomnia

It's 4.22 in the morning, I've been rudely awaken from my sleep by...uh.. my subconcious(??), my brain is fuzzy and I seem to be in an (over)analysing mood.

Now, people always say that insomnia comes from trauma blah blah blah, worries, blah blah or something along those lines. I'vebeenan on and off insomnia for a while now and really... it's just a pain when it comes to getting back sleeping hours but a whole lot of fun in the night (mainly, a lot of peace and quiet). So, the tv programmes are somewhat limited and dull... my cat's asleep and I'd feel mean trying to wake it up, I'm still too tired to even attempt toread much less study but-- ah, who am I kidding? Having insomnia is a right pain in the proverbial ass. Still, a fuzzy brain drunk on lack of sleep and the flu ought to be good fro somehting... mainly ranting, and lots of it!

I have several guesses as to why I'm currently in another bout of "Switch On" insomnia.
1) I slept too much in the day time trying to curb the horrid throb of the beat of my head during the day, compliments of the flu.
2) I'm worried about something and thus my subconscious, lovely pain in the butt that it is, has deemed it fit to wake me up at odd hours of the day and allow me full use of my wandering mind as boredom sets in.
3) My subconscious wants me to wash my hair (which I neglected to do for just ONE day) in light of the fact that my temperature has been spiking to each extreme. Hey! Don't give me that disgusted look! I happen to have perfectly... or near perfectly clean hair! I am going to wash it come sun up.

Now... I'm all for number one, but come high heaven or hell I will NEVER admit that to my mother who would see it as a lovely excuse to nag me into bed come curfew and nag me out of bed come nap time. I'm actually desperate enough to try to get back to bed that I signed into my "Busy" MSN Messenger account in the vain hopes of encountering someone dull/broody/overly-perky and getting scared offline. Didn't really work... Guess I'm the only pathetic fool up at this ungodly hour.

As for number three, my conscious mind is not desperate enough to even consider washing my hair at FOUR bleedin' o'clock in the bleedin' morning, so tough!

Number two, I can work with, especially with my wandering mind.

So, I'm worried, concerned or whatever other blah my subconscious is currently doing. It probably knows that today is the day I start my German classes and take one step into "finding a future and becoming an adult". Blast...

Yes, the prospect of taking German classes for the next few years seems daunting. I have to say, I'm not looking forward to cramming ever itty bitty bit of the language into me. I don't have that much of an interest in German culture (let's keep this between you and me and NOT Uncle Zek, 'kay?) compared to Japanese culture. I guess... it's just seems rather a daunting task.

If anything, I think it's what the damn class symbolises. The first step to adulthood, to leaving school and going off to study, to leaving my sanctuary and growing up. Sigh... where's damn Peter Pan and the little fairy girl when you need them? 'Course, I'd probably just join up with ol' Hooky and his merry band of pirates by the end of the day instead of hanging out with green boy... Ah well, it was just a whimsical thought.

I'm too sleepy to actually rant properly, and I'm too awake to go back to sleep. Yea... this sucks big time. Not only that, but mum has been slightly more concerned as to my online activities lately. Chrimity! Can't even chat in peace nowadays. Hell... I can't imagine her seeing my blog. It's the equavalent of her seeing my "pink, fluffy diary"! I've had to be a wee bit more cautious and open up another window on the mundane to quickly shift to when she's in sight.

On a side note, I've fallen! I've actually stooped low enough to getting a flooble chatterbox. One would think that I would have learnt my lesson by now. After all, the last one just... died a sad, cruel and UNUSUAL death of not being used often enough and embarrassingly removed forcefully. Ah well... consider this a shameless form of pleading to any and all who come across here. Use the chatterbox!!!