"I am many things. I am bad, I do not deny it, but neither am I not good. I do not kill needlessly, but most of all, I do not betray myself with hypocrisy.

I refuse to enter a house of God, to sing him praise, to ask for forgiveness, only to exit clean of my sins and ready to start anew my list of sins. I will do no such thing.

I refuse to enter such a place of gloom, where people simply pollute the holiness of an area by preaching and promising things they blatantly go against once they pass through those sacred doors back into the outside world.

Why bother to praise and sing hymns when you do not mean it? Why bother to praise and act holy when you know you will never uphold to those ideals--worse still, when you do not even try. Why bother to fake your smiles and joy and kindness within those walls to those you would curse behind their backs?

Think you that holiness only governs you within four walls painted white? Think you that your sins are cleared every time within simply to give you a clear slate to work with once again for the rest of the week?

I refuse to consciously conform to such hypocrisy. I cannot. I will not. I shall not.

And now, I cannot even pray; I cannot ask for help from a being I have forsaken for the sake of being human. They say that He is all forgiving; but to me, my inability to forgive myself for such hypocrisy forbids me from even attempting to give an empty loyalty to Him. This inability to lie has turned me from making any requests of a being whom I have not pledged my allegiance to.

No matter what, I will not allow myself to become a traitor, nor a hypocrite. And for that reason, I shall not enter His house, I shall not sing Him praises I do not mean to fulfill, I shall not ask anything.

I may be many things that people abhor--but I am ever loyal to my principles.

If I am damned to hell for this fact, then so be it. But at least I may comfort myself with the knowledge that I am not a traitor to Someone I pledge my loyalty to repeatedly."