Dear Nick W

Dear Nicholas W.,

I was enlightened today about how you perceived me in truth. It was a fascinating revelation to know that for an English essay in school, you made me the star character in the single character essay which was given in question to 'Describe someone you know in full'. I was most impressed that you managed to describe me in a very unsavory way; I only hope you managed to do it with style and not just portray my many faults in a whiny tone. I do so hate whiny stories.

I can't say I was very happy, but then I wasn't very crushed either when learning of your apparent dislike for me (when you don't seem to have that much outward hostility towards me face to face). I suppose I rather expected it seeing as how I act like a bossy chit towards you at times. But... I feel I do have to justify my actions towards you.

It would seem you don't appreciate the fact that I say my opinions outloud about some of your many faults, such as insensitivity towards certain situations. I apologise. I suppose your stereotypical and shallow traits might have managed to penetrate my brain deep enough that the thought of you not being able to look further than the surface would have occurred to me. In all actuallity, you probably think I only like picking on you since I don't seem to do so to others.

It never did occur to you that I don't act that way in school, did it? I'm not that jovial nor that truthful around others. You probably see it as being uncouth and frank. Believe me, Mr. W, that was not frank. I put my words about your behaviour truthfully and as delicately as possible without the useless frills of trying to save your ego from too great a fall. As such, I take full responsibilty for the fact that I assumed you had more substance than to go home sulking rather than accept it with good grace. Still, it irks me just a twitch to know that you can take the gripings of our tuition teacher but cannot take the straightforward views of someone your own age. Hmm... do I sense a bit of discrimination here? I'm your age so I have no right to put forth my views about your behaviour... And I always thought people liked it frank and out in the open rather than being backstabbed. Tsk... It would seem you prefer me to keep silent while basking in the glory of your presence and then shoving a metaphorical dirk between your shoulder blades to the option of merely stating to your face what I think about you. My humblest apologies; I shall endeavor to do better in the future.

It would seem that it escapes your notice that I freely tease you good naturedly in tuition where I am most comfortable and amongst friends but never in school. Tell me, Mr. W, have you ever heard me call you Jasmine Boy to the others in school? In front of those whom I know would tease you mercilessly? No, I haven't. I hardly even speak to you in school. You know of my distaste for the people you call friends, mere imbeciles who I know are shallow pigs at worst and opportunists at best. Those "friends" of yours also happen to make up the majority of the school. You know quite clearly I act differently in school than I do at tuition. In school I'm more 'tempered' you might think. Did it occur to you that I'm not comfortable there and that I'm not merely 'more tempered' but more guarded as well? No... I suppose not. My apologies again. It would seem I have no right to be more open and relaxed and jovial in my own way wherever I go. I will try to hold my tongue around you from here on out.

Yes, I sometimes tease you with laced insults. But then, I do the same with those I'm most comfortable around. Try asking Loong Jin, won't you? He'll gladly explain that it's a sort of bonding ritual. To sharpen one's wit against the real world while having a relaxed conversation amongst those who have dry humour (and in my opinion, the best humour). Ah... it would seem you're not yet ready to play with the big boys and girls. Terribly sorry if I hurt your mama's boy complex. I am rather forceful at times, it would seem. Tsk tsk... how terrible of me.

It would seem, you like the idea of putting your foot in your mouth over and over again without interruptions. I feel terrible about reprimending you now. In my defense, I did not realise that I was not allowed to defend those whom you have insulted callously but who happen to be good friends of mine. Loong Jin, a senior, several others... My apologia to you.

But then, you don't know what it really is like for me to be angry at you do you?

I tell you outright my ideas and my opinions; perhaps I do babble a tad bit but then, you never see me this passionated when in school. I do so because I thought you to be easy to talk to. Somewhat more mature than the other pack mules roaming about the school like bee drones -- no useful thoughts about others. Yes, I am hypocritical to think so harshly about them, but they've never shown me any respect even when I do show them some courtesy, so I retract whatever respect I might have given them and I am settled happily in my thoughts of disdain towards them. Here's a clue, Mr. W, I give my respect equally to all I meet. Whether they earn the right to keep it is another thing entirely. It seems... you've lost what little I gave you. A sad shame really; I don't have many I respect from Cempaka.

Of course, Nicholas. I do complain about little children and my dog. But do you honestly think me so beastly? After all, I'm not the one complaining morning, noon and night, including tea time except for public holidays and Christmas time, about the most menial, petty and unimportant things. I know the world doesn't take to revolving on it's axis around me. Perhaps you might find enlightenment and realise it doesn't do so for you either?

I have always teased you good naturedly. It would seem you don't find it good natured. Here's a shocking piece of news. I teased you because I liked you. No...not in a romantic sort of way. More like a platonic, surrogate sibling sort of way. If I had really meant to be cruel, I would have mocked you for everything that makes you you. I would have mocked you about your home, your living arrangements, certainly more than just your hair. I would have said har more scathing remarks about your very person adn the fools you surround yourself with. It would seem... my assumption of you having more brain than not was wrong. How terribly foolish on my part. Yes, you might be academically more advanced then me; but Nicholas, I don't care too much for petty marks. They don't make me who I am, and I'm comfortable with that. I'm not too sure about you though. Are you comfortable in your own skin, Nicholas?

Well... it would seem I don't have enough effort left in me to cruelly excoriate your foolishness. I'll just have to leave it as it is.

Sincerely,
Your much hated schoolmate.

P.S. At least I live up to my word, Nick. That's more than I can say for you, your perfect highness.